The Ramat Bet Shemesh E-mail List

The area where I live, like many areas in Israel, has an e-mail list allowing residents to share information, buy and sell items and vent. I was discussing with my friends why we subscribe to this list and the common consensus was it is a constant source of amusement.

I have collated my top 20 messages. Some of these will make you laugh (I hope) and some will just leave you puzzled.

Looking for a strong Philipino helper, preferably male, to help my mothers bad blood circulation.

Looking to start a minyan on the 7:46 train. We will be meeting in the last carriage and aim to finish dovening before we get to Lod where the train takes a few curves not conducive with dovening the amidah.

I am looking for people to sign-up for our charities mailing list so we can send you updates and standing order forms.

If anybody is flying to Brooklyn in the next few days please can they take my mother-in-law.
Children for sale. We have eight sets.
Sorry, children’s clothes for sale. We have eight sets. We also have eight children, baruch Hashem.

Looking to sell a 2-piece suit. The jacket is from a blue suit and the trousers are from a gray suit.

I am available to wash, trim or reshape your sheitals / wigs. Please remember once its cut its cut and the management does not bear any responsibility.

Please learn mishnayos for -----------ben-------- who we think passed away in Teaneck, New Jersey. If he didn’t, we are sorry for the wrong information.
Sorry, we know he died, just not where he died.

Yom Kippur this year will be in the 10th of Tishrai.

Sopher Stam (scribe for Sefer torah, tefilin, mezuzot etc) available for immediate work. Previous jobs include teacher in Yeshivat Keren Yisrael and Microsoft.

Residents of Bet Shemesh please be aware that due to cut backs in the city council budget Harel street will now only be one way.

For sale, one bookshelf with no shelves.

I am available during the week to tie Tzitzit and babysit.

If anybody is flying to Brooklyn in the next few days please can they take my wife.

If anyone is driving to Tel Aviv, I need a lift to Jerusalem. (note - Tel Aviv and Jerusalem are in opposite directions to Bet Shemseh, JC)

I would like to start a healthy and harmonious dialog between members of the Charedi (ultra orthodox) community and the national religious members of the community. Lets bridge the gap and bury of differences once and for all. The first discussion group will be titled – ‘Charedim, a drain our economy’. (needless to say he was banned from the list, JC)

Can someone please tell me if Netanya is by the sea.

And finally: Please save all your spare change. My son is currently doing a project on money. If you have any spare money, even notes, please bring it to this address……..