The Recruitment Consultant – Why?

The Recruitment Consultant

Its no secret I am looking for a job. I have a job but I want a new one. If you want to know why I want a new one you’ll have to contact me.

So I sent my resume to certain employment agencies, recruitment consultants and through various websites. Then I got a call. Please come and see us next week for an interview. We like your resume and would like to try and develop an idea of how we can find you the perfect job.

Nice, I thought, very efficient. I mean they even bothered replying and they called me. This must be good. So I prepared myself. Make a good impression; you know the thing, brush all my teeth as Woody Allen would say.

The office was in central Tel Aviv. I used to work in Tel Aviv, and remembered the traffic, so left myself plenty of time, stocked up on CD’s, food, drink and a good book for the inevitable slow crawl from Ganot to HaShalom junctions. Actually it was just as well I stocked up because the traffic started at Ben Gurion.

As I sat in the traffic, I went over my well versed lines, about why I wanted to leave my company, what I was looking for, where I could see myself in 5 years time (hopefully not still here in traffic by Ben Gurion!) and what salary I wanted.

Due to a traffic accident I arrived in Tel Aviv nearly two hours later. But it was cool, I had left early and it only took me half and hour to find a parking spot. I was still going to be early.

I casually walked into the office and announced I had a 10am appointment. Then it started to go horribly wrong. First the blank stare, the nervous look, the ‘oh dear, we’re sorry but we have totally forgotten who you are and no one is available to see you’ red face.

I was told to wait as the receptionist ran off to consult with a colleague. Then I was asked numerous times who I was and would I like a drink. Half an hour later, my counterpart swaged into the office, looked at me, went red and realized he shouldn’t have drunk all that arak last night.

I was shown into his office. “Do you have a copy of your resume?” he asked. “I have a printed copy here, but I did send you one, because someone from your office phoned and asked me to come in.” He got up and walked over to a filing cabinet, and then to a computer, and then another computer finally he turned to me, “can I have your copy?”

I gave him my copy and then he began to read it. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but some one called me and said they had read my resume, thought is was very interesting, and thought that there were certain possibilities we could discuss today”.

“Oh,” he said. Lets have a look at our website and see what we have available.”
“I have the internet at home; I didn’t need to come to your office to surf your site.”
He was so busy surfing he just answered, “you don’t need to put that on your resume, most people have the internet at him”

I physically choked. How does this man make a living, how does he eat, how does he sleep at night?

I was getting a bit agitated and when I get agitated my dry, British sarcasm takes on a life of its own.

“I would like to get something straight in my mind.”
“Shoot,” he replied.
“Look, you dragged me into your office from Bet Shemesh; it has taken me two and half hours door to door because of a traffic accident. You dragged me here, forgetting we had an appointment, having not read my resume; you do not have any suitable jobs and have absolutely nothing helpful or constructive to tell me. In fact it has been a total waste of time!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” he smiled, “you haven’t wasted my time, I like to meet our clients, get to know there faces, find out what makes them tick.”

Visions of me looking at what made him tick, like his one brain cell and his heart in my hand came to mind. But I was cool and calm, kept stiff upper lip and forced a smile or maybe it was a look of total amazement. And with that look on my face he shouted ‘smile’ and took my photo.

“Just for the records so we can remember you for our files”.

I thanked him for his time

I’m still looking for a job.